I Do Not Comply

I stopped at the grocery store yesterday on the way back from the gym. Breezed in without a mask like I always do, me and my 2 sons. The security guard/COVID commissar chased after me, screaming at me “SIR, SIR!” I did my usual of pretending I can’t see or hear. So she pursues me into the soda aisle (I was there to get some cranberry flavored soda – so good). She got way too close, in violation of social distancing regs. “You have to leave the store if you’re not going to wear a mask.” I told her I’m going to pay for my soda and leave, and I’m not wearing a mask. She got angrier and angrier. Finally I said “Then go get the police.” This particular store, being in a high crime area, has a cop on duty for shoplifters.

Now bear in mind, at no time have I or my sons been angry, caused a disturbance, or been anything but polite – we just won’t comply. So the cop meets us on the way to the checkout. He asks “Would you be willing to put on a mask? We have some up front you could have.” Very courteous. I replied “I would rather not. I already had the virus and recovered, so I don’t really need the mask. Plus it interferes with my breathing, and I can’t wear them.” He said okay and walked back to his post. I thanked him for being polite.

Checked out. Walked out, and there’s the psycho security guard waiting for us, filiming us. I informed her it is illegal to film us without our permission. And she flipped out. Screaming. Cursing. In front of the whole parking lot full of customers. And we were calm and cool. That’s the key. Be calm. Don’t get angry. Force the other side to be the jackass. As long as you’re not being violent or causing a disturbance, the police aren’t going to bother you. And we got our cranberry flavored soda.

Stupid mask nazis.